I'm Apparently Closer To Death Than I Know - 08/11/14

  We're all going to die.  I know that.  I wasn't thinking about much, however, until I got a letter from one of the funeral homes and cemeteries near my house.  I'm nearly 50 and it apparently time to make my arrangements.  These thoughtful folks have offered to send me a "final wish organizer" absolutely free. 
  I'm not really offended.  Getting that letter suggesting this is the time to think about how I'd like to handle my funeral just caught me flatfooted.  I had no idea funeral homes offered catering services.  I say let's have one last gathering, a minimum of tears and a maximum of remembering the good times we shared and the knowledge I have great faith about what happens after this life.
  Let me know what you'd like to see on the menu now before it's too late.

 

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Last Update on March 30, 2015 07:07 GMT

PINK CHICKENS

PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) -- If someone said they saw pink elephants, you'd ask what drinks had gotten into them. When people in Portland, Oregon spotted pink chickens -- it turned out it was because of the drinks the birds had gotten on them. Animal control officials picked up the pink pullets after they were spotted running loose in the city's waterfront park. Turns out the owner used food coloring, beet juice and Kool-Aid to dye the birds. He says he released them for a while to "make people smile." He may not be smiling at the result. He got a bill for the time the chickens were in county care -- and a scolding about the dangers of releasing birds in public areas.

PIANO MOUNTAIN

CALABASAS, Calif. (AP) -- You've heard of Mount Rushmore and Mount Everest -- but Mount Piano? Hikers who made the trek up to Topanga Lookout in the Santa Monica Mountains of California recently have come upon an odd sight: a battered upright piano, sitting on a graffiti-covered concrete slab. Turns out the piano was used for a music video. The video producer says he and four others used a dolly and rope to haul the 350-pound instrument a mile up the trail last week. After the shoot, it was too dark to get it down. The video maker says while it seems people are happy to see it there, he will haul it back down if necessary.

SNACK RUN

PHILADELPHIA (AP) -- We've all had those times: you have a craving for something to eat or drink in the wee hours, and hop out of bed to get it. In this case, the person with the craving in the wee hours was a wee lass: just 4 years old. And to get to the store, she hopped on a Philadelphia bus. Police say the girl slipped on a purple raincoat, slipped out of her house at 3 a.m. in a downpour -- and boarded the bus. Driver Harlan Jenifer says the girl swung her legs in her seat as she chanted, "All I want is a slushie." The driver called police, who took the girl to a hospital where she was reunited with her mom. Authorities say the girl's family was unaware she had gone on her slushie run.

ANGRY BIRDS?

MELBOURNE, Fla. (AP) -- It's a game of angry birds no one in Melbourne, Florida wants to play. Officials say ducks, geese, seagulls and other feathered friends are acting more like feathered fiends -- chasing people and tying up traffic in Wells Park. Animal officials say it appears the birds are losing their fear of people. And in some cases, that means people are gaining a fear of birds. City Manager Mick McNees tells the Florida Today newspaper three white geese chased him as he jogged in the park. He says he had trouble scaring the birds off -- but fears that an older person or child may not be able to. Officials have put up signs barring people from feeding wildlife to try to restore the balance of nature in the park.

 
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