Four Eyes - 06/17/14

After a few weeks of squinting, we decided to take our little boy back to the eye doctor.  He had just had an eye exam in November and passed with flying colors.  The first time I saw him squint, I talked myself into thinking maybe I was imagining things.  Afterall, he'd just had a great check up six months prior.

Then, a few missed baseball catches, followed by the realization that he couldn't see the monkeys in the trees at the zoo last week and there we were back in the optometrist's chair.

So it is.  Our little guy has to get glasses.  He bawled and bawled.  I did the same as a kid, though my eyes started on the steep decline a couple of years before his.   His dad's eyes also started changing at about that age.  So, I explained to him, "Honey, the genes are just stacked against your little eyes."  "Jeans?  Mom, what do jeans have to do with this?" he asks through his tears.  That was a fun conversation.  "I don't want jeans.. why do I have to have these jeans?  And I don't want glasses either."
 
I reminded him the eye doctor said he only had to wear them to do his school work, to play sports, to read, to watch TV (so, basically all the time, but it sure sounds better the other way.)   My son.... "Sports?!!??  I have to wear those silly sports glasses too? Mom NOOOOO! Mom, do you see Lebron James wearing those sports glasses?  No, mom.  I'm quitting all sports.  I'm not playing basketball, baseball, golf or doing taekwondo until I turn 12 and can get contacts. I'm just going to sit in my room until then."  By then, he's literally lying down in the parking lot outside the optometrist's office, crying uncontrollably.  I have this weird, very inappropriate tick where I laugh uncontrollably when I'm upset or uncomfortable.  I laughed through childbirth. Laughed through a spinal tap when I had meningitis.  Laugh when I'm driving and am lost going in circles.  I just laugh at the weirdest times and this was one of those.  So, there I am laughing with tears streaming and there he is lying in the parking lot bawling and getting enraged that I'm laughing.  What a *spectacle.*  Pun intended.

I went on and on about how the majority of people have either contacts or glasses and that 30% of the US population is nearsighted like him.   That didn't help.  Then I pulled out another stat, "80% of your learning takes place through your eyes.  You can't learn if you can't see.  You're going to love seeing great again."  Still didn't help.   I named off several of his friends who've been wearing glasses for years.  To no avail.

So, we've given this news a few days to settle.  He, nor I, were in any shape to select glasses that day.  Spectacle or no spectacle, I think we'll muster up the courage to go glasses shopping this week. 

 

Get This

Last Update on March 27, 2015 07:06 GMT

DRUNKEN BANK ROBBER

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. (AP) -- If you're planning to knock over a bank, it's probably best not to knock down a few first. That's what a man in Tallahassee has found out the hard way. Authorities say an intoxicated Stanley Geddie walked into the Capital City Bank and demanded $100,000 from a manager -- claiming he had a handgun and plastic explosives. When police arrived, they found the man "very intoxicated and spaced out" in the manager's office. They also found a cab driver who said he brought Geddie to the bank -- and complained he got stiffed on his $25.50 fare. At least the would-be robber decided not to drive to the bank heist. The Tallahassee Democrat reports Geddie is charged with robbery, petty theft and resisting an officer. He's also being held on two probation violations.

BASEBALL GIVEAWAY

UNDATED (AP) -- Spring training -- a time for baseball teams and their fans to be optimistic. But the Houston Astros are balking over a planned promotion by one of its minor league affiliates. The Fresno Grizzlies of the Triple-A Pacific Coast League feel so confident the 'Stros will win a title soon, they planned to hand out replica 2017 World Series rings as a promotional giveaway this summer. But once the big league club heard about the pitch, they asked the Triple-A team to bench it. Grizzlies officials say they don't want any issues with its parent club.

POLICE HORSE ON THE LAM

CLEVELAND (AP) -- You've heard about the occasional rogue police officer. But a rogue police horse? A spokesman for the Cleveland police department says a horse with the department's mounted unit was tied up at a cemetery -- but got loose and started roaming the downtown area. Police finally caught up with Jack and got him back where he belonged. Police say there were no reports of injuries or property damage. Officers say Jack stayed on the street during his escape -- but didn't stop at red lights.

GOATS CAPTURED

SEATTLE (AP) -- You've probably heard the phrase: "getting someone's goat." In this case, police in Seattle got someone's goat -- times 10. A herd of 10 goats got free from a yard in the Beacon Hill neighborhood -- and began chasing a group of children. That led police on a chase of their own -- after the creatures. The police website says officers were able to wrangle the goats into a pen. Animal control officers were called to reach the goats' owner.

 
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