Kidizms - 07/21/14

     If I'm ever at a loss on what to blog about, I know I can always fall back on the crazy things kids say.  No matter how many times I've shared their comments here or on Facebook, their little mouths and minds continue to supply an endless stream of new and improved material.
 
    Like last year when my daughter's teacher was going over the three branches of government: executive, legislative and judicial.  As she went into deeper detail about the judicial branch, my daughter promptly raised her hand and volunteered this profound statement: "My aunt is a court."  Her aunt (my sister,) is actually an attorney.  Close enough.

     At the beginning of school last year, my son's teacher asked the students to draw a picture of something they did during the summer and write a sentence about it.  My son drew a picture of himself and a big fish.  He wrote, "I cot a 10 pond CRAP."  Translation~ "I caught a 10 pound CARP,"  which by the way is a fish tale as it was only about 2 pounds.  Thankfully, he didn't get in trouble for writing a cuss word on his paper. 

    My sweet little niece Marin, who just turned 6, says she loves to LERAX.   Translation~ Relax   Me too!!!!!!

     My nephew, Bobby, who is 5 visited us at the lake a couple of weeks ago.  We drove him by the dam the Tennessee Valley Authority uses for flood control and power generation.  We said,  "Look Bobby, there's a dam."  His reply?  "Did beavers build that?"   Then as I got ready to take him on his first jet ski ride he asks, "Does this thing have a seat belt?" 

    Finally, I have lots of proud mommy moments, but this is not one of them.  When my son was much younger, he spotted a woman who had apparently forgotten to wear her upstairs undergarment.  He taps me on the shoulder and says, "Mom, look... that lady has dot boobs."  What can I say.. he's all boy. 

 

Get This

Last Update on October 01, 2014 09:07 GMT

STOLEN AMBULANCE

INDIANAPOLIS (AP) -- An Indiana man went for a joy ride in a new set of hot wheels: a stolen ambulance. But his adventure came to an end when police spotted his flashy ride a few miles away from Community East Hospital Tuesday morning after he crashed through a fence onto a golf course. City emergency medical services spokesman Carl Rochelle tells The Indianapolis Star the ambulance crew was inside the hospital when the man swiped the vehicle. He was arrested and the ambulance had some front-end damage.

ANIMALS-BLESSING

NEW YORK (AP) -- Bless the father, the son and the pet companions. New York Cardinal Timothy Dolan has blessed three dozen homeless pets and their rescuers. CBS New York says the Tuesday event outside St. Patrick's Cathedral marked the start of the Feast of St. Francis of Assisi, the patron saint of animals. Volunteers and workers from the Mayor's Alliance for New York City Animals and the Humane Society brought the dogs, cats and a rabbit for prayers.

SPOKANE BUGS

SPOKANE, Wash. (AP) -- Some insects are bugging the residents of Spokane, Washington more than usual. Master Gardener horticulture coordinator Tim Kohlauff tells KHQ the gnats swarm this time of year because they're looking to mate. He says they'll land on an ash tree, which he describes as a big singles bar for bugs. Then they'll lay eggs in the bark. But the insects will bug off when it turns cold.

SHOPLIFTING-DRUG CHARGES

DOVER, Del. (AP) -- Police in Dover, Delaware who responded to a shoplifting complaint got a two-for-one deal after arresting two people on drug charges. Police say they saw a woman trying to hide something under the seat of her car when they arrived at a Wawa convenience store Friday evening. After searching the vehicle, they found 43 bags of heroin and drug paraphernalia. Twenty-eight-year-old Jamie Hawkins and 53-year-old David Foulk were charged with drug and conspiracy offenses.

 
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