Kidizms - 07/21/14

     If I'm ever at a loss on what to blog about, I know I can always fall back on the crazy things kids say.  No matter how many times I've shared their comments here or on Facebook, their little mouths and minds continue to supply an endless stream of new and improved material.
 
    Like last year when my daughter's teacher was going over the three branches of government: executive, legislative and judicial.  As she went into deeper detail about the judicial branch, my daughter promptly raised her hand and volunteered this profound statement: "My aunt is a court."  Her aunt (my sister,) is actually an attorney.  Close enough.

     At the beginning of school last year, my son's teacher asked the students to draw a picture of something they did during the summer and write a sentence about it.  My son drew a picture of himself and a big fish.  He wrote, "I cot a 10 pond CRAP."  Translation~ "I caught a 10 pound CARP,"  which by the way is a fish tale as it was only about 2 pounds.  Thankfully, he didn't get in trouble for writing a cuss word on his paper. 

    My sweet little niece Marin, who just turned 6, says she loves to LERAX.   Translation~ Relax   Me too!!!!!!

     My nephew, Bobby, who is 5 visited us at the lake a couple of weeks ago.  We drove him by the dam the Tennessee Valley Authority uses for flood control and power generation.  We said,  "Look Bobby, there's a dam."  His reply?  "Did beavers build that?"   Then as I got ready to take him on his first jet ski ride he asks, "Does this thing have a seat belt?" 

    Finally, I have lots of proud mommy moments, but this is not one of them.  When my son was much younger, he spotted a woman who had apparently forgotten to wear her upstairs undergarment.  He taps me on the shoulder and says, "Mom, look... that lady has dot boobs."  What can I say.. he's all boy. 

 

Get This

Last Update on October 24, 2014 09:09 GMT

COIN TOSS-MAYOR

LIMA, Peru (AP) -- Usually, one flips a coin to determine things like who gets the ball first in a football game or who gets first dibs at the last slice of pie or something. But to settle an election? That's what happened in a small town high in the Peruvian Andes. Two candidates tied at the ballot box -- with each getting 236 votes in the municipal election. Peru's electoral law allows tie races to be decided by a coin toss. So the coin was tossed. And the winner -- Wilber Medina. His rival says he's cool with the results. It isn't known whether heads or tails carried the day -- and the election.

PUMPKINS-PIGS

SOMERSWORTH, N.H. (AP) -- It started as a potential case of pilfered pumpkins. But it turned out to be a windfall for a group of pigs. Foster's Daily Democrat in Somersworth, New Hampshire reports hundreds of pumpkins were reported stolen earlier week. The gourds had been set aside behind a school to be sold this weekend at a craft fair. The investigation didn't get far. Turns out a farmer spotted the pumpkins and asked a school worker if he could take them to feed his pigs. The school employee didn't know the pumpkins were being saved -- and the farmer took them. Police say the only ones that turned out happy in the whole episode -- are the hogs.

FIREWORKS-FUNERAL

SPRINGFIELD, Mo. (AP) -- When the fireworks burst in the air tomorrow night over Springfield, Missouri -- it won't be the Fourth of July -- but the last of James Carver. A Missouri funeral director will be bidding farewell to his dad -- by having his cremated remains mixed with fireworks -- and launched into the sky. Carver's father is the first to try the program by Greenlawn Funeral Homes. His son Jim is the funeral director -- and says the eight-minute fireworks display will be followed by a cookout and memorial celebration.

 
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