Kidizms - 07/21/14

     If I'm ever at a loss on what to blog about, I know I can always fall back on the crazy things kids say.  No matter how many times I've shared their comments here or on Facebook, their little mouths and minds continue to supply an endless stream of new and improved material.
 
    Like last year when my daughter's teacher was going over the three branches of government: executive, legislative and judicial.  As she went into deeper detail about the judicial branch, my daughter promptly raised her hand and volunteered this profound statement: "My aunt is a court."  Her aunt (my sister,) is actually an attorney.  Close enough.

     At the beginning of school last year, my son's teacher asked the students to draw a picture of something they did during the summer and write a sentence about it.  My son drew a picture of himself and a big fish.  He wrote, "I cot a 10 pond CRAP."  Translation~ "I caught a 10 pound CARP,"  which by the way is a fish tale as it was only about 2 pounds.  Thankfully, he didn't get in trouble for writing a cuss word on his paper. 

    My sweet little niece Marin, who just turned 6, says she loves to LERAX.   Translation~ Relax   Me too!!!!!!

     My nephew, Bobby, who is 5 visited us at the lake a couple of weeks ago.  We drove him by the dam the Tennessee Valley Authority uses for flood control and power generation.  We said,  "Look Bobby, there's a dam."  His reply?  "Did beavers build that?"   Then as I got ready to take him on his first jet ski ride he asks, "Does this thing have a seat belt?" 

    Finally, I have lots of proud mommy moments, but this is not one of them.  When my son was much younger, he spotted a woman who had apparently forgotten to wear her upstairs undergarment.  He taps me on the shoulder and says, "Mom, look... that lady has dot boobs."  What can I say.. he's all boy. 

 

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Last Update on October 21, 2014 09:08 GMT

WATER THEFT CHARGE

NEWARK, N.J. (AP) -- The owner of a northern New Jersey business found himself in hot water after admitting his role in a plan to steal at least $100,000 worth of water from a local utilities authority. Federal prosecutors say 43-year-old Nicholas Vene, of Holmdel, New Jersey pleaded guilty Monday to conspiracy to commit mail fraud. Officials say from January 2007 to March 2012, Vene and others diverted water flowing from a Jersey City pipe to a Reliable Wood location and away from the water meter on that pipe. That resulted in an under-reporting of water usage.Vene faces up to five years in prison when he's sentenced Jan. 26.

FREE SALMON

POULSBO, Wash. (AP) -- The early bird catches the fish, or at least a few lucky people did when they lined up with coolers Monday to wait for free salmon at a hatchery on Washington's Kitsap Peninsula. Workers at Grovers Creek Hatchery, northwest of Seattle, netted several dozen fish from the pond and harvested eggs from female chum salmon. The hatchery gave away one salmon per person because of limited supplies so early in the season. But they told those who didn't get a fish Monday to come back later. The hatchery, run by the Suquamish Tribe, is one of a few in Washington with a salmon give-away program.

STINK BUG-MICHIGAN

ST. JOSEPH, Mich. (AP) -- An annoying insect is bugging homeowners in southwestern Michigan, and some say it just plain stinks. A Michigan State University program says the brown marmorated stink bug has been detected in low numbers in traps set around fruit and vegetable crops. But there are "a few hotspots." Cathie Buckley, of Stevensville, Michigan, lives with her husband on 6 1/2 acres including a former blueberry patch. The couple are finding the bugs "all over the place," and she says she's encountered hundreds of them. "I have lots of them -- and my husband can't stand the smell of them," Buckley said. "They are horrible." The stink bug does not bite or pose any danger to humans, but it has a gross smell.

SPEEDWAY WEDDING

TALLADEGA, Ala. (AP) -- Two NASCAR fans raced to the altar to finally arrive at marital bliss. Kevin Lane and Ashlea Leggett got married on the Talladega Superspeedway infield before the GEICO 500 in Alabama on Sunday. The Athens, Georgia couple attended the race last year, as their first big trip together. So this year, they asked their friends and family to join them on the track for a ceremony before the race. The gathering was complete with a 10x10 foot white tent, flowers and music playing from a smartphone connected to a small speaker. After the 15-minute ceremony, the entire crowd shared wedding cake and watched the racers rev up.