Kidizms - 07/21/14

     If I'm ever at a loss on what to blog about, I know I can always fall back on the crazy things kids say.  No matter how many times I've shared their comments here or on Facebook, their little mouths and minds continue to supply an endless stream of new and improved material.
 
    Like last year when my daughter's teacher was going over the three branches of government: executive, legislative and judicial.  As she went into deeper detail about the judicial branch, my daughter promptly raised her hand and volunteered this profound statement: "My aunt is a court."  Her aunt (my sister,) is actually an attorney.  Close enough.

     At the beginning of school last year, my son's teacher asked the students to draw a picture of something they did during the summer and write a sentence about it.  My son drew a picture of himself and a big fish.  He wrote, "I cot a 10 pond CRAP."  Translation~ "I caught a 10 pound CARP,"  which by the way is a fish tale as it was only about 2 pounds.  Thankfully, he didn't get in trouble for writing a cuss word on his paper. 

    My sweet little niece Marin, who just turned 6, says she loves to LERAX.   Translation~ Relax   Me too!!!!!!

     My nephew, Bobby, who is 5 visited us at the lake a couple of weeks ago.  We drove him by the dam the Tennessee Valley Authority uses for flood control and power generation.  We said,  "Look Bobby, there's a dam."  His reply?  "Did beavers build that?"   Then as I got ready to take him on his first jet ski ride he asks, "Does this thing have a seat belt?" 

    Finally, I have lots of proud mommy moments, but this is not one of them.  When my son was much younger, he spotted a woman who had apparently forgotten to wear her upstairs undergarment.  He taps me on the shoulder and says, "Mom, look... that lady has dot boobs."  What can I say.. he's all boy. 

 

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Last Update on April 27, 2015 07:07 GMT

HOT DOG CONTEST-VEGAS

LAS VEGAS (AP) -- Forty-eight hot dogs is just an appetizer for Matt Stonie. He's qualified for the annual hot dog eating contest at New York's Coney Island, by winning a regional eat-off in Las Vegas. Michelle Lesco wins the woman's title of Nevada Hot Dog Eating Champion by downing 27 franks in just 10 minutes. They'll advance to the annual Nathan's Famous Fourth of July Hot Dog Eating Contest at Coney Island. Joey "Jaws" Chestnut of San Jose, California, holds the current Nathan's title, and the all-time record of 69 dogs and buns set in 2013.

MILLENNIUM CAMERA

AMHERST, Mass. (AP) -- Your picture will be ready -- in a thousand years. San Francisco writer and self-described experimental philosopher Jonathon Keats has designed what he calls the "millennium camera." Keats says his camera will take a 1,000-year exposure of a western Massachusetts mountain range. He's placing the camera in a steeple on the campus of Amherst College to chronicle climate change. Of course, batteries won't last a millennium and film would deteriorate. So Keats' millennium camera will capture the image on a copper plate covered in light-sensitve paint. Keats isn't sure if the camera will work -- or if anyone will be around in 3015 to look at the picture.

MARIJUANA DETECTION DEVICE

AKRON, Ohio (AP) -- You've heard of the Breathalyzer. Now comes the "Cannibuster." Two Ohio grad students have developed a device they say will detect pot use. It could be used by officers during traffic stops. Mariam Crow and Kathleen Stitzlein's gadget tests saliva to determine the concentration of pot's active chemical in the bloodstream. They tell the Plain Dealer newspaper police now have to wait weeks for the results labs tests. The two women recently received a $10,000 inventors' award for their Cannibuster.

AIRPORT-MARIJUANA

NEW YORK (AP) -- Authorities in New York charge a man had a lot more than a change of clothes in his bag. The Port Authority says 55-year-old Kelvin Smith was trying to board a flight at LaGuardia Airport with 18 pounds of pot in his checked baggage. A Port Authority spokesman says liquid leaking from the man's luggage reeked of marijuana. Authorities add they found nearly three ounces of crack cocaine in another of his checked bags. Authorities say court records show Smith has 41 prior convictions for drug offenses.

 
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