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Negotiating With Children - 05/01/14

  I was perusing the morning headlines and came across this new study (isn't there always a new study?)
  Well, this one distinguishes the subtle nuance between phrases that will get your children to clean up their mess.  Someone actually took the time, energy and money to study whether we should say to our younger kids... "Some children are helpers,"  or "Some children choose to help."  The study found the former, not the latter, was 29% more effective at getting preschoolers to clean up.
    I don't need some study to tell me which word to use when.  Little Johnny... you made the mess, we had fun making it, now it's time to clean it up.  Plain and simple.  That's just the way the world works.  I think negotiating with children, beginning at a young age... is dangerous.  There are expectations, responsibilities, a natural order to life that we need to implant into our children starting early. It's non negotiable.
    We started having our kids sort the silverware from the dishwasher at age
4 1/2.  I praised them profusely for a job well done and they found great satisfaction in contributing to our home.  It enhanced their self esteem to feel so useful in our family dynamic.  Since then, we've added more age appropriate responsibilities. (I call them responsibilities, not chores.)  Currently, they fold towels, empty the dishwasher, feed the dogs, water the garden, and clean up their messes.  They earn $2 a week.  
    We started early outlining the expectations.  Everyone works and contributes in our home. There's no free ride.  I never said, "Some children are helpers" and I certainly never said "Some children choose to help."  It's not a choice.  Never has been. Never will be.  Parents who do that are raising mediocrity and doing their kids a disservice.  The real world doesn't give you a choice about being responsible or helping or contributing or earning your own way.  The real world requires this. 
    At our house, we live in the real world.  I'm not negotiating with my kids. I'm raising good citizens.  Here's that silly study if you care to read:

http://www.today.com/moms/learn-secret-word-will-get-your-preschooler-help-clean-2D79599714?__source=xfinity|hero&par=xfinity

 

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Last Update on October 01, 2014 09:07 GMT

STOLEN AMBULANCE

INDIANAPOLIS (AP) -- An Indiana man went for a joy ride in a new set of hot wheels: a stolen ambulance. But his adventure came to an end when police spotted his flashy ride a few miles away from Community East Hospital Tuesday morning after he crashed through a fence onto a golf course. City emergency medical services spokesman Carl Rochelle tells The Indianapolis Star the ambulance crew was inside the hospital when the man swiped the vehicle. He was arrested and the ambulance had some front-end damage.

ANIMALS-BLESSING

NEW YORK (AP) -- Bless the father, the son and the pet companions. New York Cardinal Timothy Dolan has blessed three dozen homeless pets and their rescuers. CBS New York says the Tuesday event outside St. Patrick's Cathedral marked the start of the Feast of St. Francis of Assisi, the patron saint of animals. Volunteers and workers from the Mayor's Alliance for New York City Animals and the Humane Society brought the dogs, cats and a rabbit for prayers.

SPOKANE BUGS

SPOKANE, Wash. (AP) -- Some insects are bugging the residents of Spokane, Washington more than usual. Master Gardener horticulture coordinator Tim Kohlauff tells KHQ the gnats swarm this time of year because they're looking to mate. He says they'll land on an ash tree, which he describes as a big singles bar for bugs. Then they'll lay eggs in the bark. But the insects will bug off when it turns cold.

SHOPLIFTING-DRUG CHARGES

DOVER, Del. (AP) -- Police in Dover, Delaware who responded to a shoplifting complaint got a two-for-one deal after arresting two people on drug charges. Police say they saw a woman trying to hide something under the seat of her car when they arrived at a Wawa convenience store Friday evening. After searching the vehicle, they found 43 bags of heroin and drug paraphernalia. Twenty-eight-year-old Jamie Hawkins and 53-year-old David Foulk were charged with drug and conspiracy offenses.

 
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