Negotiating With Children - 05/01/14

  I was perusing the morning headlines and came across this new study (isn't there always a new study?)
  Well, this one distinguishes the subtle nuance between phrases that will get your children to clean up their mess.  Someone actually took the time, energy and money to study whether we should say to our younger kids... "Some children are helpers,"  or "Some children choose to help."  The study found the former, not the latter, was 29% more effective at getting preschoolers to clean up.
    I don't need some study to tell me which word to use when.  Little Johnny... you made the mess, we had fun making it, now it's time to clean it up.  Plain and simple.  That's just the way the world works.  I think negotiating with children, beginning at a young age... is dangerous.  There are expectations, responsibilities, a natural order to life that we need to implant into our children starting early. It's non negotiable.
    We started having our kids sort the silverware from the dishwasher at age
4 1/2.  I praised them profusely for a job well done and they found great satisfaction in contributing to our home.  It enhanced their self esteem to feel so useful in our family dynamic.  Since then, we've added more age appropriate responsibilities. (I call them responsibilities, not chores.)  Currently, they fold towels, empty the dishwasher, feed the dogs, water the garden, and clean up their messes.  They earn $2 a week.  
    We started early outlining the expectations.  Everyone works and contributes in our home. There's no free ride.  I never said, "Some children are helpers" and I certainly never said "Some children choose to help."  It's not a choice.  Never has been. Never will be.  Parents who do that are raising mediocrity and doing their kids a disservice.  The real world doesn't give you a choice about being responsible or helping or contributing or earning your own way.  The real world requires this. 
    At our house, we live in the real world.  I'm not negotiating with my kids. I'm raising good citizens.  Here's that silly study if you care to read:

http://www.today.com/moms/learn-secret-word-will-get-your-preschooler-help-clean-2D79599714?__source=xfinity|hero&par=xfinity

 

Get This

Last Update on November 21, 2014 10:07 GMT

WEIRD WEATHER

ANCHORAGE, Alaska (AP) -- With much of the nation digging out from snowstorms -- you might figure Anchorage, Alaska, must be buried. But folks in Alaska's biggest city are asking where's the snow? As a large swath of the Lower 48 shivers, Anchorage is unseasonably warm. The little snow that has fallen has already melted. Not so in western New York, where Buffalo is being buried. There's so much snow on the ground, the NFL has decided to move the Bills' home game against the Jets. The game had been scheduled for Sunday in the Buffalo area, but will be played Monday night in Detroit. The Lions are at New England Sunday.

UNCLAIMED LOTTERY PRIZE

RICHMOND, Va. (AP) -- A lucky $1 million Powerball winner could soon turn very unlucky. Virginia Lottery officials say the clock is ticking on a winning ticket sold for the June 21 drawing. The ticket hasn't been turned in yet. It will expire at the close of business on Dec. 18 if the jackpot isn't claimed. Virginia Lottery officials note winning tickets are only good for 180 days after the drawing.

CENTENARIAN-FIRST OCEAN VISIT

ORANGE BEACH, Ala. (AP) -- Ruby Holt has seen a lot in her more than 100 years. But one thing she never saw was the ocean -- at least not until this month. Holt got a chance to go to the beach, visiting the Gulf coast in Alabama. The trip was made possible by Brookdale Senior Living Solutions, where Holt lives in Columbia, Tennessee, and the Wish of a Lifetime organization. Holt says she had always heard about how wonderful the ocean is and wanted to see for herself. She got a chance to walk across the white sand with a little help and dip her feet into the cool Gulf waters. Holt turns 101 Dec. 13.

GIANT NUTCRACKER

ROSEBURG, Ore. (AP) -- It's nuts! A giant nutcracker will be the centerpiece of the annual holiday festival near Roseburg, Ore. Toby Johnson created the monster cracker using a chain saw. It will stand more than 40 feet tall and the nut-crushing power comes from a motor. Cranes are being used to assemble the nutcracker at the site of the festival, which opens Sunday. Sponsors tell The News-Review they're sending documentation to the Guinness people to earn a world's record for the biggest nutcracker.

 
Advertise with us!

Should Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius resign or be asked to resign by the President because of problems with the rollout of healthcare.gov and health care reform?

Yes
No
I Don't Know



Poll Results

25.83% Yes
25.54% No
48.61% I Don't Know

Talkers