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Negotiating With Children - 05/01/14

  I was perusing the morning headlines and came across this new study (isn't there always a new study?)
  Well, this one distinguishes the subtle nuance between phrases that will get your children to clean up their mess.  Someone actually took the time, energy and money to study whether we should say to our younger kids... "Some children are helpers,"  or "Some children choose to help."  The study found the former, not the latter, was 29% more effective at getting preschoolers to clean up.
    I don't need some study to tell me which word to use when.  Little Johnny... you made the mess, we had fun making it, now it's time to clean it up.  Plain and simple.  That's just the way the world works.  I think negotiating with children, beginning at a young age... is dangerous.  There are expectations, responsibilities, a natural order to life that we need to implant into our children starting early. It's non negotiable.
    We started having our kids sort the silverware from the dishwasher at age
4 1/2.  I praised them profusely for a job well done and they found great satisfaction in contributing to our home.  It enhanced their self esteem to feel so useful in our family dynamic.  Since then, we've added more age appropriate responsibilities. (I call them responsibilities, not chores.)  Currently, they fold towels, empty the dishwasher, feed the dogs, water the garden, and clean up their messes.  They earn $2 a week.  
    We started early outlining the expectations.  Everyone works and contributes in our home. There's no free ride.  I never said, "Some children are helpers" and I certainly never said "Some children choose to help."  It's not a choice.  Never has been. Never will be.  Parents who do that are raising mediocrity and doing their kids a disservice.  The real world doesn't give you a choice about being responsible or helping or contributing or earning your own way.  The real world requires this. 
    At our house, we live in the real world.  I'm not negotiating with my kids. I'm raising good citizens.  Here's that silly study if you care to read:

http://www.today.com/moms/learn-secret-word-will-get-your-preschooler-help-clean-2D79599714?__source=xfinity|hero&par=xfinity

 

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Last Update on March 05, 2015 10:37 GMT

OLYMPIC SLED RIDE

LAKE PLACID, N.Y. (AP) -- If this record-breaking winter isn't wild enough -- you can slide belly-down on sled at about 40 miles per hour. The site of the 1980 Winter Olympics at Lake Placid, New York, is offering skeleton sledding. For 75 bucks, visitors can try the twisting sled run. It's all over in a flash, about 40 seconds. Scott Hayes of Toronto says it was a lot faster than he anticipated. Jillian Frascoia of Richmond, Vermont, says it was scary, but great.

BASKETBALL JERSEY CONTROVERSY

LOS ANGELES (AP) -- It's was an attempt to think pink. And it almost cost a girls' high school basketball team a chance to play for the Los Angeles city championship. Officials disqualified Narbonne High, after the girls wore uniforms with pink letters and numbers for breast cancer awareness. Rules require teams to wear only their official school colors. Now, league officials have reversed their decision, but coach Victoria Sanders has been suspended for the rest of the season. Sanders tells the Los Angeles Times she accepts the punishment. The Narbonne girls' basketball program will be on probation through next season. The team faces Palisades High in the section championship game Saturday.

NATIONAL ARCHIVES-ALCOHOL

WASHINGTON (AP) -- You might think of it as the United States of booze. The National Archives is exploring America's long history with alcohol. Curators pulled 100 original items and documents from the archives. They include the 18th Amendment that created Prohibition, the 21st Amendment that repealed it, President Franklin Roosevelt's cocktail shaker and a first edition of "Alcoholics Anonymous." "Spirited Republic: Alcohol in American History" opens tomorrow in Washington.

TIME CHANGE-SAME HOUSE

KENDALL, Kan. (AP) -- Think this weekend's time change is a headache? Well, consider the situation of Ron and Sherry Finlay. Their home near Kendall in western Kansas sits on the line that divides the Mountain and Central time zones. Walk through a door on one side of the house, it's Central Time. Go through another door, and it's Mountain Time. They tell the Hutchinson News they've decided to live on Mountain Time. But Sherry Finlay says it sometimes gets confusing for visitors.

 
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