Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Bum Off - 11/04/13

     Not a day goes by without our kids saying something that is fall on the floor funny.
     Take this weekend for example.  My sweet daughter was reading her Bible.  She recently attended Bible Blast at church and they gave her a new one, so she's been reading independently these last few weeks.  I walk into her room and she says, "Mom, I feel like I'm reading another language."  I said, "I know honey, it seems like that in some parts of the Bible."  She then says, "You know what.  If you hand me a highlighter right now, I can correct ALL of these run-on sentences."  ROFLMBO
     Just a few weeks ago at breakfast, she says, "Mom, did Nana & Papa have a car when you were little?"  Without skipping a beat, my husband chimes in: "Nope, just a horse and buggy."  Really?  Does my daughter really think I'm THAT old?  Doesn't she know the 40's are the new 30's?   I know we had kids late in life, but geez.  What's she going to say when we're 60?  ROFLMBO
      My son is funny too.  One day he woke up in a grumpy mood.  I said, "You woke up on the wrong side of the bed."  He declared, "I did not.  I was in the middle."  ROFLMBO
      And this one happened several years ago when he was in preschool, but it still makes us laugh.  We had gotten KFC on Sunday for a picnic & hike on the Natchez Trace.  We had some leftover so I packed a chicken leg in his Monday lunch.  His teacher said, "Did you go to Kentucky Fried Chicken?"   With such innocence he said, "No, I got this in Franklin, Tennessee."  ROFLMBO 
      Then there was the time my parents pulled out a very ripe banana to eat.  He says, "Does that have caramel on it?"     ROFLMBO
       Finally, one more from this weekend.  We're at dinner Saturday night and my husband, like many men, has an Adam's Apple.  My daughter says, "Daddy, can you make your Applebee go down?"  ROFLMBO
       I feel so blessed to have these little laughter makers under my roof.
      


 

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Last Update on October 02, 2014 09:08 GMT

MEAT THIEF

CROTON-ON-HUDSON, N.Y. (AP) -- Is that a roast beef in your pants? Or are you just happy to leave the store without paying? Police in New York State say a supermarket employee has been accused of leaving the store with $1,200 worth of meat hidden in his pants. State Police say Gregory Rodriguez, of Ossining is charged with fourth-degree grand larceny in the case. A spokeswoman for the state police says all the meat was swiped in just one day. But she says she doesn't know if it involved more than one trip to the store.

SINGING ROAD

TIJERAS, N.M. (AP) -- You've heard about cars that hum along on the road. How about a road that sings along with cars? There is one under construction in New Mexico -- where transportation officials are trying to curb speeding along historic Route 66. Tigress Productions is creating a "singing road" between Albuquerque and the mountain community of Tijeras. The road uses a series of rumble strips to create music. The driver will hear the tune -- so long as the speed limit is observed. There are only a few of these singing roads in the world. The one in New Mexico will be featured in a new National Geographic Channel series dubbed "Crowd Control" that will make its debut in November.

COMPANY CARD-STRIPPERS

PORTLAND, Maine (AP) -- Here's one for those who worry that the bean counters at your company's accounting department might get on your case about your expense account. A former TD Bank executive has been sentenced to 18 months in prison. The Press Herald of Portland, Maine, reports Jeffrey Burnham used his company credit card to run up a tab of nearly a quarter million dollars at strip clubs. The card was swiped for thousand-dollar bottles of champagne and $750 lap dances -- which Burham said he needed to ease his stress from work.

 
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