Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Bum Off - 11/04/13

     Not a day goes by without our kids saying something that is fall on the floor funny.
     Take this weekend for example.  My sweet daughter was reading her Bible.  She recently attended Bible Blast at church and they gave her a new one, so she's been reading independently these last few weeks.  I walk into her room and she says, "Mom, I feel like I'm reading another language."  I said, "I know honey, it seems like that in some parts of the Bible."  She then says, "You know what.  If you hand me a highlighter right now, I can correct ALL of these run-on sentences."  ROFLMBO
     Just a few weeks ago at breakfast, she says, "Mom, did Nana & Papa have a car when you were little?"  Without skipping a beat, my husband chimes in: "Nope, just a horse and buggy."  Really?  Does my daughter really think I'm THAT old?  Doesn't she know the 40's are the new 30's?   I know we had kids late in life, but geez.  What's she going to say when we're 60?  ROFLMBO
      My son is funny too.  One day he woke up in a grumpy mood.  I said, "You woke up on the wrong side of the bed."  He declared, "I did not.  I was in the middle."  ROFLMBO
      And this one happened several years ago when he was in preschool, but it still makes us laugh.  We had gotten KFC on Sunday for a picnic & hike on the Natchez Trace.  We had some leftover so I packed a chicken leg in his Monday lunch.  His teacher said, "Did you go to Kentucky Fried Chicken?"   With such innocence he said, "No, I got this in Franklin, Tennessee."  ROFLMBO 
      Then there was the time my parents pulled out a very ripe banana to eat.  He says, "Does that have caramel on it?"     ROFLMBO
       Finally, one more from this weekend.  We're at dinner Saturday night and my husband, like many men, has an Adam's Apple.  My daughter says, "Daddy, can you make your Applebee go down?"  ROFLMBO
       I feel so blessed to have these little laughter makers under my roof.
      


 

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Last Update on July 29, 2014 09:14 GMT

HOT TUB SEX ARRESTS

PEORIA, Ariz. (AP) -- A hot tub threesome has landed two women and a man in trouble with the law. Authorities in Peoria, Arizona, charge Gina Marie Rayner, her boyfriend Anthony Michael Vechiola, and Jennifer M. Duchnowski were having sex in an apartment complex's public spa. They now face charges of public sexual indecency. Rayner is also charged with leaving her two young children alone in an apartment. Bond was set at $2,100 for both Rayner and Vechiola. Duchnowski was released without bond.

(Stations: note nature of above)

DROUGHT-GOLD RUSH EVENT

SACRAMENTO, Calif. (AP) -- The rush is off -- because of a lack of water. The California drought is forcing officials to cancel Sacramento's annual Gold Rush Days. Organizers usually bring in nearly 200 tons of dirt. It's used to transform the Old Sacramento neighborhood into a scene from the 1850s, including horses, wagons and street performances. But too much water would be needed to dampen the dirt and later clean it up. Steve Hammond, president of the Sacramento Convention and Visitors Bureau, notes the dry conditions also help create a fire hazard. The Sacramento event is usually held during the Labor Day weekend.

90 AND SKYDIVING

ST. LOUIS (AP) -- Skydiving has always been a dream for Evelyn Stolz -- and she's finally done it age 90. The St. Louis woman hit the silk Sunday with her family watching. KSDK-TV reports Stolz served in the Navy during World War II and wanted to be a parachute rigger. But she didn't qualify because at 95 pounds she was considered too small.

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SALT LAKE CITY (AP) -- You don't need more than one spouse to sleep at a former polygamist's compound. The complex in southern Utah is now called America's Most Wanted Suites and Bed and Breakfast. It was built for imprisoned polygamous sect leader Warren Jeffs, who was once on the FBI's most wanted list. Former Jeffs bodyguard Willie Jessop runs the b-and-b. He won ownership of the property in a successful lawsuit against Jeffs' church. While the compound was built for Jeffs he never lived there. Guests now pay from $85 to $200 a night.

 
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