The Map Lady - 09/25/13

   So, I don't mean this to sound sexist, but I really do believe most of us women would admit to having some level of difficulty with directions.  I'm right there with ya, so I'm not pointing fingers.  I'm talking the East, West, North, South lingo some people (men) like to use when they give directions.  You with me now?   Or how about when they (men) say, "You just go UNDER the OVERpass, then turn left."  Did he really just say that?  My brain can't process UNDER and OVER in the same sentence and still remember which way you said to turn.  I'm still stuck there turning circles in my brain, 'Wait, did he say go OVER the UNDERpass or maybe it was UNDER the OVERpass... or was it....??? Oh gosh, I give up.'  Circles, circles, loop, loop.. stuck!  There's just some disconnect when it comes to listening and following road directions or remembering them even if I've been there once before.

   Hence, my reliance on 'The Map Lady.'  What did I ever do without her?  She's on my Iphone in my map app and I literally rely on her for just about every turn I make (outside of my own little community.)   As a journalist, I travel the Midstate many times a week.   I was in the car with a photographer the other day and he was shooting video for a Waste Watch story out the car window while I drove. We were headed to a certain destination and he said, "Which way are you going to go?"  To which I replied, "I have no idea.  Whichever way 'she' tells me."  He said, "Who's she?"  I said, "The Map Lady."   He laughed and couldn't believe I had to dial up my gal for such a simple destination (which will remain unnamed.)

    Before The Map Lady came along, I would have to pull over lost and in tears and call my husband.  I would insist that I was following and reading the signs, but still got turned around.  His reply came to be a standing joke, "Oh honey, has the highway department been out moving those signs again?" 

    Today, I was following her directions and took note of just how many times she mispronounces things like BRILL (rhymes w/ grill) -ee Parkway instead of Briley Parkway.  Then she says, Old Hick or RAY instead of Hickory.  My favorite was OH' pree land Hotel, aka Opryland.  She puts the wrong emphasis on the wrong syllable and mispronounces roads and landmarks daily, but I just love her.  Not only does The Map Lady get me where I'm going, but she gives me a giggle or two along the way... guaranteed! 

   Truth be told, if I ever accidentally drive off a cliff, just know... The Map Lady made me do it as she was patiently navigating me around every single UNDER and OVER pass that might get me stuck.

 

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Last Update on April 17, 2015 09:10 GMT

DAVID LETTERMAN-CAPITOL GYROCOPTER

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No. 8, "Should I do this during Secret Service happy hour?"

No. 2, "Should I land somewhere unguarded, like the White House?"

And No. 1, "Will I be the only person who actually did something in Washington today?"

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