The Map Lady - 09/25/13

   So, I don't mean this to sound sexist, but I really do believe most of us women would admit to having some level of difficulty with directions.  I'm right there with ya, so I'm not pointing fingers.  I'm talking the East, West, North, South lingo some people (men) like to use when they give directions.  You with me now?   Or how about when they (men) say, "You just go UNDER the OVERpass, then turn left."  Did he really just say that?  My brain can't process UNDER and OVER in the same sentence and still remember which way you said to turn.  I'm still stuck there turning circles in my brain, 'Wait, did he say go OVER the UNDERpass or maybe it was UNDER the OVERpass... or was it....??? Oh gosh, I give up.'  Circles, circles, loop, loop.. stuck!  There's just some disconnect when it comes to listening and following road directions or remembering them even if I've been there once before.

   Hence, my reliance on 'The Map Lady.'  What did I ever do without her?  She's on my Iphone in my map app and I literally rely on her for just about every turn I make (outside of my own little community.)   As a journalist, I travel the Midstate many times a week.   I was in the car with a photographer the other day and he was shooting video for a Waste Watch story out the car window while I drove. We were headed to a certain destination and he said, "Which way are you going to go?"  To which I replied, "I have no idea.  Whichever way 'she' tells me."  He said, "Who's she?"  I said, "The Map Lady."   He laughed and couldn't believe I had to dial up my gal for such a simple destination (which will remain unnamed.)

    Before The Map Lady came along, I would have to pull over lost and in tears and call my husband.  I would insist that I was following and reading the signs, but still got turned around.  His reply came to be a standing joke, "Oh honey, has the highway department been out moving those signs again?" 

    Today, I was following her directions and took note of just how many times she mispronounces things like BRILL (rhymes w/ grill) -ee Parkway instead of Briley Parkway.  Then she says, Old Hick or RAY instead of Hickory.  My favorite was OH' pree land Hotel, aka Opryland.  She puts the wrong emphasis on the wrong syllable and mispronounces roads and landmarks daily, but I just love her.  Not only does The Map Lady get me where I'm going, but she gives me a giggle or two along the way... guaranteed! 

   Truth be told, if I ever accidentally drive off a cliff, just know... The Map Lady made me do it as she was patiently navigating me around every single UNDER and OVER pass that might get me stuck.

 

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Last Update on March 27, 2015 07:06 GMT

DRUNKEN BANK ROBBER

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. (AP) -- If you're planning to knock over a bank, it's probably best not to knock down a few first. That's what a man in Tallahassee has found out the hard way. Authorities say an intoxicated Stanley Geddie walked into the Capital City Bank and demanded $100,000 from a manager -- claiming he had a handgun and plastic explosives. When police arrived, they found the man "very intoxicated and spaced out" in the manager's office. They also found a cab driver who said he brought Geddie to the bank -- and complained he got stiffed on his $25.50 fare. At least the would-be robber decided not to drive to the bank heist. The Tallahassee Democrat reports Geddie is charged with robbery, petty theft and resisting an officer. He's also being held on two probation violations.

BASEBALL GIVEAWAY

UNDATED (AP) -- Spring training -- a time for baseball teams and their fans to be optimistic. But the Houston Astros are balking over a planned promotion by one of its minor league affiliates. The Fresno Grizzlies of the Triple-A Pacific Coast League feel so confident the 'Stros will win a title soon, they planned to hand out replica 2017 World Series rings as a promotional giveaway this summer. But once the big league club heard about the pitch, they asked the Triple-A team to bench it. Grizzlies officials say they don't want any issues with its parent club.

POLICE HORSE ON THE LAM

CLEVELAND (AP) -- You've heard about the occasional rogue police officer. But a rogue police horse? A spokesman for the Cleveland police department says a horse with the department's mounted unit was tied up at a cemetery -- but got loose and started roaming the downtown area. Police finally caught up with Jack and got him back where he belonged. Police say there were no reports of injuries or property damage. Officers say Jack stayed on the street during his escape -- but didn't stop at red lights.

GOATS CAPTURED

SEATTLE (AP) -- You've probably heard the phrase: "getting someone's goat." In this case, police in Seattle got someone's goat -- times 10. A herd of 10 goats got free from a yard in the Beacon Hill neighborhood -- and began chasing a group of children. That led police on a chase of their own -- after the creatures. The police website says officers were able to wrangle the goats into a pen. Animal control officers were called to reach the goats' owner.

 
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