The Map Lady - 09/25/13

   So, I don't mean this to sound sexist, but I really do believe most of us women would admit to having some level of difficulty with directions.  I'm right there with ya, so I'm not pointing fingers.  I'm talking the East, West, North, South lingo some people (men) like to use when they give directions.  You with me now?   Or how about when they (men) say, "You just go UNDER the OVERpass, then turn left."  Did he really just say that?  My brain can't process UNDER and OVER in the same sentence and still remember which way you said to turn.  I'm still stuck there turning circles in my brain, 'Wait, did he say go OVER the UNDERpass or maybe it was UNDER the OVERpass... or was it....??? Oh gosh, I give up.'  Circles, circles, loop, loop.. stuck!  There's just some disconnect when it comes to listening and following road directions or remembering them even if I've been there once before.

   Hence, my reliance on 'The Map Lady.'  What did I ever do without her?  She's on my Iphone in my map app and I literally rely on her for just about every turn I make (outside of my own little community.)   As a journalist, I travel the Midstate many times a week.   I was in the car with a photographer the other day and he was shooting video for a Waste Watch story out the car window while I drove. We were headed to a certain destination and he said, "Which way are you going to go?"  To which I replied, "I have no idea.  Whichever way 'she' tells me."  He said, "Who's she?"  I said, "The Map Lady."   He laughed and couldn't believe I had to dial up my gal for such a simple destination (which will remain unnamed.)

    Before The Map Lady came along, I would have to pull over lost and in tears and call my husband.  I would insist that I was following and reading the signs, but still got turned around.  His reply came to be a standing joke, "Oh honey, has the highway department been out moving those signs again?" 

    Today, I was following her directions and took note of just how many times she mispronounces things like BRILL (rhymes w/ grill) -ee Parkway instead of Briley Parkway.  Then she says, Old Hick or RAY instead of Hickory.  My favorite was OH' pree land Hotel, aka Opryland.  She puts the wrong emphasis on the wrong syllable and mispronounces roads and landmarks daily, but I just love her.  Not only does The Map Lady get me where I'm going, but she gives me a giggle or two along the way... guaranteed! 

   Truth be told, if I ever accidentally drive off a cliff, just know... The Map Lady made me do it as she was patiently navigating me around every single UNDER and OVER pass that might get me stuck.

 

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Last Update on October 24, 2014 09:09 GMT

COIN TOSS-MAYOR

LIMA, Peru (AP) -- Usually, one flips a coin to determine things like who gets the ball first in a football game or who gets first dibs at the last slice of pie or something. But to settle an election? That's what happened in a small town high in the Peruvian Andes. Two candidates tied at the ballot box -- with each getting 236 votes in the municipal election. Peru's electoral law allows tie races to be decided by a coin toss. So the coin was tossed. And the winner -- Wilber Medina. His rival says he's cool with the results. It isn't known whether heads or tails carried the day -- and the election.

PUMPKINS-PIGS

SOMERSWORTH, N.H. (AP) -- It started as a potential case of pilfered pumpkins. But it turned out to be a windfall for a group of pigs. Foster's Daily Democrat in Somersworth, New Hampshire reports hundreds of pumpkins were reported stolen earlier week. The gourds had been set aside behind a school to be sold this weekend at a craft fair. The investigation didn't get far. Turns out a farmer spotted the pumpkins and asked a school worker if he could take them to feed his pigs. The school employee didn't know the pumpkins were being saved -- and the farmer took them. Police say the only ones that turned out happy in the whole episode -- are the hogs.

FIREWORKS-FUNERAL

SPRINGFIELD, Mo. (AP) -- When the fireworks burst in the air tomorrow night over Springfield, Missouri -- it won't be the Fourth of July -- but the last of James Carver. A Missouri funeral director will be bidding farewell to his dad -- by having his cremated remains mixed with fireworks -- and launched into the sky. Carver's father is the first to try the program by Greenlawn Funeral Homes. His son Jim is the funeral director -- and says the eight-minute fireworks display will be followed by a cookout and memorial celebration.

 
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